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Everyone remembers their first time. Not necessarily for everything, but for something. I remember the first time I drank a beer. It was 10.13.95. I was 18 and it was at a University of Miami frat party. Not my first frat party or college party, mind you, but my first beer and first sip of any alcoholic beverage of any kind for that matter. I only had one that night, but have had a substantial many since. That was incidentally the night of my first time being “buzzed” as well (Yes, off of only one beer).
I remember my first cd (Janet Jackson’s Rhythm Nation), my first concert (NKOTB), and my first time crowd-surfing (Violent Femmes). I remember my first crush (in kindergarten!), my first kiss (in high school), and the first time I laid eyes on the love of my life (10.09.08). This is the first time I’ve lived in New York. I’m in the midst of my first “real” winter ever, complete with snow on barren tree branches and watching people shovel sidewalks clear. The first time I actually saw snow fall was in Saginaw, Michigan after the first time I tried to “runaway from home” (No, I didn’t have a hobo stick with a bag tied to the end of it). Welcome to my first blog post. My first name is legally Lorena Maria, but you can just call me Loren.
Whiskey. Willie. Your god damned hanging on.
You look at empty spaces just as you look at me.
Nothing. Then Someth … No. Nothing.
Go on. Go. Please.
For your loving wife.
For your daughter. On the edge of a cliff.
For you. Most of all. For you.
To death, Father. To death.
I love you. To death.
No affliction is so great
As the twisting tight
Of a bed without your lover.
Her slippers by the door
A strand of her hair resting on the empty pillow
The nest of blankets often put to the side
now wrap me in my solitude.
———
Lurching, suspended over chill depths,
I ponder my monolith.
Smooth and warm and heaven to touch, my monolith
Housed in […]
A girl in athletic gear bounded up the walkway to a derelict indisposed. I watched her bend over a vagrant, hover closely over him, speaking to him as if trying to rouse an intimate friend. Fruitless efforts to incite motivation. There were gimmicks, rolls, murmurs, coughs, cackling, bitching and moaning. There were people watching people […]